Laughing to Keep from Crying

 I’m laughing. Not because something’s particularly funny, but because, honestly, it’s either this or breaking down in tears. I’m not sure if anyone ever told me adulthood was going to be like this: a mess of bills, emails that should’ve been texts, and a constant feeling of being on autopilot without really knowing where I’m headed.

I’m sitting on the floor, wearing my comfy jeans, because, well, at least something should be comfortable, right? Sometimes I think if I sit here long enough, I might stumble upon some sort of life answer. Or maybe I just need more coffee. Or a nap? But no, my mind is already spiraling through all the things I’ve got pending.

The truth is, pretending has become part of the daily script. I laugh so people won’t see how tired I am, but also because, let’s face it, if I stop, I’ll have to deal with all the things I’ve been avoiding. So here I am, laughing... because crying feels a little too real right now.