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L’apocalipsi segons Noé, el manetes del barri

  Quan al veïnat van començar a aparèixer rumors que la gent s’havia tornat encara més estúpida de l’habitual, vaig pensar: “Res nou”. Però un dia, mentre feia cua al supermercat per comprar cafè i cinta americana, vaig rebre una trucada inesperada. "Hola, Noé? Escolta, la cosa està molt xunga. Hem de parlar." Així va començar el meu malson... i la construcció de l’arca més cutre que mai heu vist. Va resultar que la terra estava "corrompuda i plena de violència". Vaja, com qualsevol dilluns al metro. Però aquesta vegada era més greu. Em van dir que havia de salvar el món construint una mena de nau espacial... però flotant. Una arca, em deien. Vaig pensar que era una broma, però no. Era jo, una serra i una pila de fusta resinosa. Les instruccions eren clares, però inhumanes. "Cento quaranta metres de llarg, vint-i-tres d’ample i catorze d’alt. I tres pisos, eh? Que no falti espai." Vaig fer càlculs ràpids i vaig entendre que necessitava més cinta americana....

Why My Burnt Flowers Are More Alive Than Your Perfect Bouquet


 Ah, yes, my burnt flowers in a vase. At first glance, you might think, "What a tragedy!" But let me stop you right there. These aren't just flowers. They’re a metaphor for my life, your life, the universe. Unlike those perfect, symmetrical blooms you post on Instagram—where even the lighting looks curated by God himself—these flowers have character. They’ve survived the flame, embraced the burn, and now they sit proudly in my living room, reminding me (and my guests) that resilience is the new beauty.

Honestly, why settle for pristine petals that wither at the first sign of discomfort? These flowers? They know hardship. That charred edge? A battle scar. The wilt? A graceful acceptance of reality. Your "flawless" daisies wish they had this kind of depth, this level of grit. They represent the perfect social media life we all try to project—until something, or someone, burns it all down.

Still think I’m crazy? Let’s be real: your pristine roses are boring. Predictable. And so fragile that a gust of wind might just make them crumble. You don’t need perfect. You need these flowers in your life. They’re real, just like that mess in your inbox and your perpetually unfinished to-do list. Embrace the burn. Welcome the imperfect. It’s time to ditch the ideal for something raw, emotional, and far more interesting.

So, yes, my flowers are burnt—but they have a story. What does your untouched bouquet say? "I’m boring and afraid of a little heat"?

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